Anakin in Wonderland
by Saltatio Mortis
Summary: This is a side story of 'Agony'. See it as Anakin's punishment for interrupting.


Anakin tossed and turned around in his bed. He had a very bad dream. But he couldn't wake up, he thought that this was reality. A really odd reality, however.

Together with Padme, Anakin laid in one of the many flowerfields on Naboo. The senator read in one of the 'History of Naboo' books and the Jedi was bored. "Padme, I'm going for a walk, before I fall asleep." Padme looked up and nodded. "It's ok, but be back in one hour." Anakin nodded and walked away.

He loved the landscape of Naboo. Everywhere was grass and flowers blossomed. He strolled alongside a river and looked up into the blue sky. Anakin forgot the time and when he noticed, how late it was, he decided to go back. The Jedi was already overdue and he was sure that Padme would give him a toungue-lashing.

But then someone – or better something caught his eye. "Am I crazy now???? Could that be????" The something was no other than the great Jedi Master Yoda. Why was he here on Naboo?! "Master Yoda, why are you here? Is something wrong?" Yoda looked up as if he wanted to reply, but then he pulled out a clock and watched it. "Oh no, late I am! The Master, not pleased he will be!!!" Anakin gaped like a fish. Had he heard right??? Just as he took a deep breath and asked again, the Jedi Master ran away and cried all time that he was late. "Sorry I am Skywalker. Only delay me, would a conversation with you" He shouted back. Anakin was puzzled but he was curious, too. Had Yoda smoked something??? Whatever it was – he wanted it, too. And so he followed him.

A misty bosk came into his focus and Yoda was running straight into it, always rambling about a displeased master. The green imp disappeared between the trees and soon Anakin was lost. "Damn, I didn't keep the way in mind… Master Yoda? Where are you?" He shouted into the bosk. But nobody answered and so he had to find the way back alone. Anakin oversaw a black hole in the ground and screamed "DAAMMNNN!!". He fell and fell and fell… the Jedi used the force to damp his impact with the ground as he landed ruggedly on his butt. "Ouch, I'm glad that Obi-Wan didn't see that…"

He looked around, but the hole he fell in was too dark to see anything, so he had to move cautious around. "Where am I? Next time when I see that green imp again… I will murder him, slice him up into hundred pieces …." He muttered to himself. A dim light fell into his eyes as he continued to explore the hole. He neared it and wished he hadn't. "!!!!What madness is that!!!!" He pratfalled and stared into the light source…

Aayla was shrink-wrapped into a door???!!!! "Aayla?? Are you alright? What the hell happened with you?" The Twi'Lek opened her eyes and grinned at Anakin. "Oh, Anakin. Nice to meet you!" "Where am I?" Aayla grinned "Oh I could tell you but only if you go ahead and enter the door." Anakin looked puzzled "I would, but I don't see any knobs!!!" Aayla lauhged "My dear Skywalker, there are knobs!" Skywalker looked around "No, there aren't." The Twi'Lek grinned and pointed to her breast. Anakin thought he would die on the spot. "You don't really mean T H A T !!!" "Oh yes. Please touch it and go ahead. There is no other way out of here!" But Skywalker stood there as if he just turned into stone. Aayla grabbed his hands with a mischievous smile and led them to her breast. "!!! NONONONONO!!!! UGH" He closed his eyes and thought that those tits were Padme's… But Aayla's laughing ringed in his ears and he couldn't concentrate…

As he opened his eyes again, he stood in a forest. Alone. But is was not the same as before. "Where am I now???? That is a bad dream!!!"

Skywalker decided that he hated this sick game… But then he saw Yoda again. "Hey, wait for me!!" But he was hindered by two clones. Anakin sighed with relief. "Bly and Gree!" Instead of answering the two only grinned. It was the same grin that Aayla had. "Anakin, nice to meet you. How are you?" Anakin sighed with relief. Finally two persons, who are not totally insane. "Can you tell me where I am?" But Gree and Bly only continued grinning. "No. But we would like to tell you a story." Anakin shook his head and walked away. "You are not a help either…" But Bly held him back. "My, My Anakin, are you stressed out?" He whispered in his ear. "Come on, let us help." Anakin jumped as Gree tried to unfasten his robes. "Gahhh, you sick guys!" "We? Sick? Come and play with us" Bly cooed. Anakin nearly fainted as Bly and Gree started to make it out. "Erm, sorry. I have no time. I am already late! Byeeee!!!" he imitated Yoda and ran away as fast as he could.

Anakin didn't know how long he ran. He stopped and took in and deep breath of air. Then he smelled something odd. Could it be, that someone nearby smoked weed??!! "I hate my curiousness. But I HAVE to know who it is." He veered toward the smoking person and swallowed. "Now THAT is an eyesight." Master Windu sat in a tree and smoked a joint. "Greetings, Anakin. I sense that you have many questions. Am I right?" Anakin blinked 'Since when is Windu nice?' "Yes, can you tell me why all people here are acting so odd?" Windu set up a broad smile. "Unfortunately, I can't answer you that. But look up. The sky is really beautiful today, is it not? Come, join me. Take a joint and let us philosophize about the origins of the galaxy" Anakin stumbled back. "No thanks. I'm searching for a way out of here." Windu looked down to Anakin. "What a pity. Well then. I wish you good luck!" But Anakin had already vanished.

He ran like hell. "I think that I've never ran so much in my whole life as I had now in one day… and what the heck is that now?!" He stared at a long table covered with teacups and cake in the middle of the forest. "I don't want to know who it is now, I don't want to know who it is now, I don't want to know who it is now, I don't want to know who it is now" he chanted while he tried to sneak away. "Hey, General Skywalker! Long time no see!" Anakin thought that the voices of the clones are alike. But he knew that THIS voice belonged to no other than Rex. "Oh no, not Rex…" he muttered and turned to greet him. "Hey, Rex. Nice to meet you, too. Are you trying to break the record in cake-eating??? You know that's poison for your figure!" Rex smiled "Nah, I don't eat those by all myself, Echo and Fives are helping me." "…Aha… by the way, this outfit doesn't suit you!! Where's your Phase I armor?! And please, that top hat looks crackbrained!!!! Do you intend to blind me???!!! And- … " Then Echo and Fives appeared. "Commander Skywalker! Look at my bunny ears!!! And are Echo's mouse ears cute, too?" Anakin's heart stopped '. Breath, Ani, breath, pretend you didn't see that…" Echo didn't respond, it seemed that he was weary – or drunk??? Who knows… "Is Echo drunk? He looks like Kit Fisto on drugs!" As Anakin mentioned Kit Fisto, Echo's head snapped up and he screeched "Kit Fisto??? NONONONO!!! Where??? I have to flee!!". With that he bolted away into the depth's of the forest. Anakin's eye twitched and he asked Rex "What's with him?" The Mad-Hatter-Captain shook his head "Kit Fisto likes to play 'Tentacle the Echo'. Echo has already bad dreams about that." Anakin faltered and had to sit on one of the armchairs. "General Skywalker, are you feeling queasy?" with that, Rex began to massage him. Anakin trusted Rex; although his mind screamed to run away as fast as he could. But he allowed him to touch him. But as Rex hand wandered to the lower regions of his body, he jolted up and stared at him. "No, not you, too!" Fives neared from behind and grabbed poor Anakin. "Oh come on, it is funny. Would you like to know how we eat the cake?" He cooed. Rex only grinned "Oh yeah, Fives is right. All clones like that. It is in our nature that we are sweet-tooth's" Skywalker broke free from Fives and yelled every known curse at them as he fled.

"… Please, let this dream end. It must be a dream. That can't be true." He panted as he stopped in front of a !GREEN! house. He decided to ignore it but again his curiousness won. 'I hate myself' he thought as he crept to the house. "Welcome to Yoda's" He read on the name tag. "YODA?! Finally!! Surely he can help me to get out of this horror!!.... Master Yoda? Are you here?" Instead of answering, Yoda opened the door. "Skywalker, pleased to meet you I am. Can I help you?" The green Jedi Master said. "Yes, can you help me to go back to Naboo? I think I don't know the way anymore and slowly but surely, I am going nuts." Yoda lifted his ears "Nuts you are going? Not good for your sanity it is. Help you I – Oh no, not again. Late I am again! The Master, displeased he will be again!!! Wait in my house you will, Skywalker" before Anakin could respond, the green imp had vanished. "…" He walked into the house – but there was a problem. He was too tall and so he had to duck his head. "Why is Yoda so small? And why is his house so small? Doesn't he get visits from tall people?!" He sat on the floor in the kitchen and looked around. Then he saw a platter with cookies on a table and on command, his stomach growled. "… I hope, that those cookies are not poisoned." He had better lived on hungry. "What the hell??? Oh no, Yoda is going to kill me for demolishing his house!!! I can't move anymore!" Anakin's body grew and soon looked like a giant caged in a doll house. "Fortunately, no one is here looking… I am feeling like a wookie stuck in a tin. But I could use a little help… Think Ani… maybe, if I eat something again, I could gain my normal height back? It is worth a try…" He stretched his arm and grabbed some undefinable vegetable. 'I never complain about vegetable again.' He thought as he shrunk back. "Erm, I better leave and pretend that I'm not responsible for that mess."

Soon, Anakin stood in front of a fork. "Fantastic, which direction should I take?" he muttered annoyed. "Which direction… left or right? Turn left and the path leads you to the Master. Turn right and path leads you to an oracle. That is the question… Who will you choose?" Anakin's head snapped up. That voice?! "Ahsoka? Is that you?" He whispered. But he saw nobody. "Now I'm hallucinating, wait I'm hallucinating all the time…" The voice again spoke "Hallucinating. A blurred vision of your imagination. Imagination is reality and reality is imagination. Or is it not?" Suddenly Ahsoka appeared and had a silly smile on her face. "Ahsoka?! What happened with you? First Fives in a bunny dress and now you with a cat-tail" "The cat and the bunny. Friends or foes? Can you answer it?" Chessiresoka asked. Anakin hit the floor. "Ahsoka, stop with that pseudo-poet-shit!" but Chessiresoka continued taunting. "Do you know where you are? In the land were fish can fly and…" "S T O P!!" Skywalker screeched "You are insane!!" Chessiresoka darted to him and grabbed him with both hands – or better paws. "Insane? Are we all insane? Rex is insane, Mace is insane and you, now you are insane, too. Or didn't you notice it already? Maybe I can teach you a thing or two about true insanity." She whispered. "Sorry I have to go. The Master awaits me!!" And he fled again. Chessiresoka yelled behind him "I wish you good luck with your audience with the Master!!!" Anakin *DID NOT* want to know why. His nerves laid blank. He only wanted to go home. To sane people.

Before him a big castle appeared. "Woah, that thing is bigger than Padme's palace…" He entered the courtyard and didn't trust his eyes. "I can't believe it…" Luminara and Plo-Koon stood both armed with paint buckets in front of a long row of Phase I cladded clones. They were painting them red. "Master Luminara, Master Plo-Koon, what were you doing – and why?" Luminara turned and answered "You see, Master Skywalker, The Master loves the color red very dearly, but for some reason all clones have only white armors. So we are painting them red on Master's command. Plo-Koon turned and interrupted them. "Excuse us, Master Skywalker. If we don't hurry up, the Master will be furious. And you know what that means!" Luminara turned and smiled sheepishly. "Yes, I now." The clone they were currently painting grinned. Anakin recognized him as Chopper. "Oh I didn't mind to get a punish from the Master. I *LOVE* to be punished by him." Two clones behind him, Waxer and Boil, squealed in delight, too. "Oh yes, we want to be punished, too!!" The others agreed. Two persons behind him appeared. For the second time, Anakin's heart stopped. The Master was no other than Obi-Wan himself cladded in a SM-Outfit. Behind him stood Cody, but in a slave-outfit and chained with a dog leash. Anakin wished to die on the spot and sputtered "Obi-Wan? Is that you? And what have you done with Cody?!" But his voice perished under the soon-to-be-red-painted-clones' squeals of delight. Obi-Wan's eye twitched and yelled "Silence, all of you! And you Skywalker, don't ever speak to me again when I'm not asking you!" Cody hugged Obi-Wan from behind and whispered "Hmm, I think Anakin needs a punishment. Or not my dear?" Again Skywalker hit the floor and stared wide-eyed at them. "Punishment?!" Obi-wan set up a sadistic smile "Sure. What have you in mind, my dear Cody?" said clone whispered something into his ears and Obi-Wan's grin broaedned. "Introduce him to your favourite game? Very well, then." He put out a whip and cracked it. "On your knees! Beg me for punishing you!" Anakin screamed and tried to flee. "NONONONONOOOO, not me!!¨" Obi-wan laughed and followed him. Every now and then the whip hit its mark and Anakin howled in pain. "Please let me wake up, please!!!" He wailed as he ended up in a dead-end. He pressed against the wall and closed his eyes while Obi-Wan snickered as he approached. "PLEASSEEE!!!"

Poor little Anakin jolted up and fell out of bed. "Ouch" He rubbed his head as he hit the nightstand. "Where am I???!!!" He looked puzzled. Obi-Wan's laughter still rang in his ears. Anakin was puzzled and as he finally knew where he was, he laid relieved on the floor and laughed. "A dream, I knew it!! Finally. This madness is over!!!" He just laid there for a few minutes and then went into the bathroom. When he finished, he decided to go to the Commando-Bridge in order to distract himself. As he entered the Commando-Bridge, he met an impatient Obi-Wan. "Anakin, you are late. We waited for you since 1100!" Rex seemed not pleased either. "I am sorry: I had a bad dream… so have we a new mission? Which planet will we rescue now?" Rex shook his head and looked away. A Jedi General should not be distracted by some bad dream…

"No, Yoda called us back to Coruscant. We are leaving immediately. Oh and by the way… Cody, do you know where my lightwhip, erm lightsword is??"

That was it. Anakin screamed and fainted. "I know that you sought out vengeance for Anakin's interruption, as Cody wanted to plead his love for you. But I think that this punishment was too hard. You used the force and let him dream this dream." Cody just grinned "Rex, since when turned Ahsoka you into a softie?"


End file.
